mente y corazon

I decide to start writing and sort of let the words fill the page. I figure that's the best way to write. I was always taught that you had to have a goal in writing. That it had to be structured. An intro, a thesis, 3 paragraphs, conclusion. What's the goal with your writing. You have to cite your sources, use good grammar, avoid using passive voice, etc. And all of those things are good. But creativity comes from the abstract and the unexpected. It comes from the unknown. It's what makes the difference between poetry and rap (although I love both). Poetry starts in the soul and ends on paper. But rap needs to pass through the mouth first. If it doesn't sound good, on the outside, it doesn't make the cut. That's why most songs are based off of freestyle. It just has to come naturally. A lot of people ask me "where did you learn to write?"

I guess I learned to "write" in school but I never really learned how to enjoy it until I had something to write about.

At our last mission conference our mission president started his presentation with a scripture. I've learned a lot about public speaking by listening to him. Whenever I had to present something to a large crowd I would always tend to ask questions and try to talk less. Usually I let the point of interest sort of discover itself. But I've learned to fine art of "getting to the point." President knows exactly what he wants us to know (or what the Lord wants us to know) and says exactly enough so that we understand. He taught us that we needed to learn in the following way:

D and C 8:2

Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.

Listening to someone is how you learn by the mind but feeling what is being taught is how you learn by the heart. My eyes have been opened to this type of "learning." President told us to divide our notes into 2 sections: mind and heart.

I've never paid more attention in mission conferences and councils. Every time someone talks I to figure out what the Lord wants me to know by listening to my mind and my heart.

This week has been long. Everyone has told me, "oh your time is just going to fly by now." But lately the days have just gone on forever. I think it has something to do with the climate and time change. The sun starts setting at like 4 and it feels like bedtime at like 5:30. But instead of hitting the sack I still have to work for 4 hours. I'm getting used to it though.

I went back to Pilar this week. I'm still in love with that city. On the way back home I was falling asleep on the bus and was shaken awake by the chipa guy asking if I wanted to buy some chipa. Normally chipa people are pretty annoying because when I don't want chipa they are like always there and really annoying. But when you want chipa they just disappear. It's actually quite funny but yeah, first time I was really woken up by one and he was probably freaked out by my reaction. I like forgot where I was for 10 seconds and had a mini breakdown in my head. I ended up buying his product. Good but overpriced. I guess that's the price of chipa that is brought to you.

One thing that has been on my mind is this guy we met in a Bolt (Paragauayn Uber) who spoke English. We were just coming back from a baptism in Rama 2. We were with the sisters and this guy starts saying a lot of random things about the church. He knew a lot. A lot more than most people who say, "I know a lot about the church."

He said I looked like a zone leader. He told me he's gone to Utah. He read not only the Book of Mormon (multiple times) but also the D and C and Pearl of Great Price. He even read preach my gospel. He said that he knew a lot about the church. But he said his favorite thing was a doctrinal point from the conversion story of Brigham Young. He was a convert from Europe and he would listen to the missionaries as they would talk in the street. He listened to their eloquent and powerful way of sharing the gospel. He was astounded by their natural ability but not convinced of their doctrine. It wasn't until a new missionary went up to give his part. He was nervous, a little unprepared, kind of fumbled his words a bit. Many people lost interest and left. But that is what convinced Brigham Young. He felt in his mind and his heart that it was true because someone imperfect was talking about it. The way he felt didn't match the mediocrity of the way the missionary was teaching the "lesson" but the spirit spoke to him. Through his mind and through his heart.

At the end of the day what's more powerful--ability or testimony

He gave me his card. He's a business man. He said that he does Bolt for fun. Very interesting man but I don't think anything has convinced him yet.

Speaking of Church History, I read the first chapter of Saints. It's something I've always wanted to do but I've just never had time. I didn't know how it started but I figured it would start with Jospeh Smith and probably the first vision...

But it talks about a volcano.

I personally think volcanoes are pretty sweet, but the point was that this particular volcano in the middle of the ocean in 1815 had an eruption so big that it changed weather patterns for the next few years.

The Smith family was already broke in Vermont. With the never-ending winter approaching their only hope was to leave. That's how they ended up in Palmyra. They almost died along the way. It's an incredible story but it has a surprise beginning. Sometimes I think about the volcanoes in my life. What has the Lord put me through to end up here.

I think about my past area a lot. It was such a cruel and bitter fight. It ended on a good note, but I can't escape my mind sometimes. I feel like Joseph's mom when she traveling with her young children alone with a horrible conductor. They were all basically dying but she often thought back to the time where she had to hear her son's screams and near death spasms during his painful leg surgery without any sort of anesthesia. 

"If I can get through that, I can get through anything" she wrote.

And that she did.