Medio Sordo

(11/8/2021)

This transfer has left me absolutely destroyed. I've had to spend the last transfer learning how to be the next Branch President in Carepegua. Which has been a huge change because I've spent a large chunk of time teaching instead of learning. I remember last my day in Ayolas not being too excited to leave. Excited for something new but not excited about the position I would be in. Everyone would say "Oh dude, Elder Johnson--future Branch President out there in Carepegua!" But future means a lot. It's been hard, especially spiritually.

I think it's because when I was in Ayolas, not only was I the man but I was THE man. I led the area. Because I opened it, I knew every single person in every single récord. I can still close my eyes and give anyone directions from any given point on the map. I was hardwired to be the leader in that area. It wasn't much but to some extent it was mine. I still haven't adjusted to being the number 2 here. At the beginning of my mission I thrived being the second in line, second to talk, because that's all I knew. In every area I've served, I have eventually led. Which is why every new area is so hard for me. Not only do I have to learn the new people and the new norms and customs, but I have to relearn how to be number 2 again. At the beginning I thought it would be a nice break from having to be the man because being senior comp is tiring. But I've never been more consistently tired in the mission then here in Carapeguá. I don't think I'll ever adjust to being second fiddle. I've spent the majority of my mission in the front. The good thing is my companion is getting transferred and then I will be leading again. But it's not like I don't like my comp, he's great! But that's the thing. In training my companion wasn't as good at the language. I had to step up and lead every lesson and every contact for a long time until he got adjusted (which was a lot faster than I was). It was kind of like when I was in Encarnacion and I was put with Elder Cartwright. We both really didn't know what we were doing but because I led the area, I had to step up and the Lord, as he always does, picked up the slack! My companion is the leader here in Carepegua. Normally I would be competitive about it. But instead I've just felt less full. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. And I feel like my skill in the language is plateauing or even getting worse as a result of me not talking as much.

I remember coming into that first zone council with all the other missionaries in the zone. (We are in zone 5) Looking around like, "dang I don't know anyone here." Everyone had their own jokes and own sayings from the past transfers. I was just sort of the new guy. It took me back to being a brand new missionary...not knowing anything and feeling small. Also I was still trying to adjust to being the junior comp again. It's not where I pictured myself at 15 months in the mission. 

And 15 months ago I had no idea what a zone was.

One thing that I still do is to compare everything I do to the NBA. It's sort of weird but it's what I do. The mission is the league, zones are teams, and missionaries are players. I traded places with the Elder that replaced me in Ayolas. In other words my hefty 5 transfer contract that is about to end was traded for a newer fresh guy. Zona Encarnacion turned its back on their veteran Elder Johnson. I got bamboozled. But despite being a restricted free agent (very restricted because I'm definitely staying) means more change in the future. Which is good and welcome.

But yeah this past week has been one of the craziest weeks in my mission. First we all went to one of the most beautiful places in all of Paraguay: Salto Cristal. Salto Cristal is a waterfall that doesn't really show up on Google maps and so you sort of have to know a guy to get there. Luckily there's a collectivo driver that told us he would rent his little van to us if we and the entire zone wanted to go. The van was really sketch and the door was bent so that if you were sitting in the front you basically had the risk of falling out the whole time. So we all get there and we are waiting for the collectivo guy to show up and then this other guy who doesn't speak Spanish shows up with his friend and is like, "Yeah the other guy asked if I could do it." It was all kind of sketch but yeah yolo. So we went up and people always say that Salto Cristal is "right by ybicui and passing the colmena." Well if you look on a map that doesn't make any sense because la comena and ybicui are really far apart and you don't pass one to get to the other. So we drove three  hours to some lame salto and they didn't even let us in. So then we had to go all the way back to basically Carepegua to go to Salto Cristal. But we did eventually find it. It was actually worth the drive. It was a bit of a hike to get there but it was definitely worth it. It took me back to the hikes I would do in North Carolina back when I was in the MTC on Sundays. Very worth it. Since my companion and I basically planned the whole thing, we were exhausted by the time it was over and a little broke.

[I think its worth mentioning that last Saturday I woke up with my ear completely clogged with wax. I literally could not hear out of my left ear and there was a really loud ringing noise. On Sunday we went to the doctor and she said that I needed to get an ear washing to wash all the wax out but I had to wait for the ear, nose, and throat doctor (or otorrinlaringologó in spanish which was really confusing for me because I had no idea what that meant and they kept on saying it) to come on Friday. So I spent the entire week being half deaf and I have to say, it sucks. I could hear my voice in my head every time I talked and it actually made me speak quieter because I was afraid I was speaking too loud. I felt like I was a new gringo again because I couldn't understand what people were saying but I eventually was able to piece everything together. Lowkey it made me a lot better at understanding the language. It definitely made me feel sympathy for the slightly deaf people I know in my life like Elder Cardozo, my grandpa and other family members. It's really hard not being able to hear stuff.]

Which brings me to the temple trip. I bore my testimony in church yesterday about it. It was awesome. We rented out the same collectivo guy to get the few of us in Carepegua (and also Acahay which is technically just a group but it belongs to us so its part of the branch) to go up to Asuncion. It was a long trip and the van was looking as unreliable as ever but we got up there sin problema. It was weird being back in the temple. It's been a long time. I was kind of nervous about going to the temple at first. I was afraid i would forget what to say and do and stuff like that and it was all in Spanish. But literally when I walked in those walls, I felt like I was home. Everything just put me at ease. The air, everything was quiet (which was a little hard because it made the ringing in my left ear more powerful) -- it was just what i needed. The font, the paintings, the locker room was all the same. It just felt like home. We talked a lot about being spiritually tired in our last Zone Conference. Something thats been really relevant to me just because it's really hard laboring in the spirit. Being in the temple was like my spirit taking a fat nap. Honestly. 

On the way back we got some pizza. It was right by where I stayed when I first got to Paraguay so it kind of reminded me of those first few moments when I first arrived. I'll never forget those. Ever. We passed by Carepegua on the way to Acahay, and at first the plan was that we were just gonna leave the people going to Acahay in the van and we would get out in Carepegua to spend the night. But I had a feeling that we should stay in the van and go with them and make sure they arrived at home safely. It was already super late but I felt that's what we needed to do. It was a really beautiful night driving through the valley with all the stars in the middle of nowhere en camino a Acahay. But then I figured out why needed to stay. The bus battery just stopped and then the engine shut off. And then we stopped rolling and pulled over on the side of the road. I was actually very calm for what very well was kind of a disaster. It was late, we had 2 kids (teenagers) with us and we were very far away from any sort of civilization. I was silently praying the whole time and I always felt that the Lord had our back. Eventually they powered it back on. I was kind of nervous the bus would break down again but I was soo happy when I saw that Acahay sign. Overall it was a very successful temple trip.

The week flew by. We had a baptism in Acahay and it took place in the river because they don't have a font so that was pretty sick. We were all over the place with interviews. Transfers came in and I'm staying in Carepegua and becoming the official Branch President of Carepegua (woohoo). Elder Gordon is leaving to become a Zone Leader. Presidente Faundez told me that I wasn't going to be here forever. That I was going to gain a little bit of experience here, teach my new comp how to be Branch President, and then leave. Basically the whole zone got transferred but yeah good times. I think this transfer is going to be quick. Gonna try to plan another temple trip and call a relief society president and try to do an interview with every active member in Carapegua and Acahay. Pray for me. I have some idea of what I'm doing but I'm very new to this. My new comp is pretty old in the mission so I think he will provide some needed experience here. Y despues...Tchau