Lydia

My senior year of high school I decided to quit cross country and pick up soccer. I had never played soccer before but I was determined to play. I don't know why I was drawn to it. I didn't follow soccer professionally--the only full matches I had ever witnessed were the endless Saturday soccer tournaments of my sister that I would often have to watch with my mom as a kid. I found the sport quite boring actually. But things change. In that time I craved the feeling of sweat on a hot day and the smell of yesterday's grass stuck in the lining of my old cleats. Soccer was one of the first things I tried just for me and I absolutely loved it! I wasn't a star but I felt like I was an integral part of the team. As a senior I sort of had to be. It's crazy to think all of that happened 2 years ago. Or in the way I think of it now, a mission ago.

The work in Ayolas has started to feel smaller to me. It almost feels like there is no bigger mission. I've been here so long it is the only mission. My 2 other areas have just been a small moment. A training. It's a good thing because focusing on the small parts makes the big picture seem bigger. Ayolas is an area that needs 100 percent attention. I sort of feel like 'kolipoki' out here. This is my island. It's not much, but it's mine. The members know me by my first name. They know what my preferences are and how many people are in my family. I've known all of that about them for a while but it's easier when it's literally my job to know people. You can usually tell how well you know a person by how much you talk about the past. When it comes to conversations with people lately it's all about the future.

It's been a hard couple of weeks as far as attendance goes. People have promised us or have said, "Si o si we will come." But they simply haven't been coming. Elder Cardozo would tell me how his family used to be so poor that when there wasn't food he would just fast. He loved fasting! He did it all the time. I definitely felt the difference without that extra boost when he left. So I started fasting. Not in extreme or anything and usually just one meal here and there but more than the usual. What's great about fasting is I can choose how I want to do it. Some people feel ashamed if they drink water during a fast or chew gum to take the edge off. But what I've realized is that the Lord doesn't care if you drink water during the fast. He just wants the sacrifice. And it's not anyone else's sacrifice. It's mine. I can fast however I want. Consecrating the sacrifice or giving up of something is at least better than nothing. If I had understood that before I would have done it with Elder Cardozo. But the thing I've been mainly fasting for is so that we can have some people at church. 

The first week nobody showed up but we had hope for the next week.

The second week nobody showed up either. I was devastated. Zack from two years ago would probably think it's kind of silly how hurt I was. I felt personally lied to by each of the 5 people who gave me their word. But I got a spiritual impression to look behind me during the meeting. So I did. And I still didn't see that much. Just my 2 recent converts who have come every week since they were baptized (and there are stories of some people not even showing up to their own confirmation) and a handful of less actives that only show up "de vez en cuando." Our small chapel wasn't even filled but I realized that we had visited each person that was there that day in the past week. As much as it hurt to say, I actually had made a difference that week. And a small difference is better than none at all. My 2 faithful little converts show up every week! They take the Sacrament every week! They read the scriptures every day! They pray every day! Sometimes you cast the net and you are pulling out the fishes. Ironically in the fishing capital of Paraguay, we are looking under the rocks. Our line gets snagged every now and then.

Yesterday was Sunday. I went into it fasting. All I wanted was just one person to come to church. One amigo. Just one to say I had worked hard and brought someone closer to Christ that week. And the Lord answered my prayer. 2 fold. One was Camila. One of the 3 daughters of Maria (the lady we just baptized). And the other was Lydia. Lydia is a lady that lives right next to the Church. We knew from the old carpeta de area that she had been taught for years by generations of missionaries. We decided to visit her one night.

She has one son who died at 30 to cancer. It's completely changed her life. She has no husband or other family. She's from Argentina. She doesn't have anything but her house that she makes a decent living renting out and her son. And losing her son was losing everything. She says that she sees her son in us. Young and full of light. When we met with her we sort of skipped past the whole "how are you" "where are you from" and got right into what was Important. She asked if we could eat lunch with her the next day. Why of course we would we only get fed like 2 times a week here we said.

She came to church. It made me so happy. 

I also just remembered that she shares her name with my "sobrina." 

My niece, Lydia Ellis

Senior Year Soccer at UCHS